Day Six

Day Three, four, five, and six are pretty much as follows. I walked for 40 minutes with speed up to 3.00mph, and reached about 1.9 miles. On day four I added a stretching yoga routine for fifteen minutes. It felt so good to stretch after walking. Today I see a chiropractor for my neck. I am not sure I have ever experienced neck pain due to stress before, but it hurts. It may be more than stress, because I usually don't feel stressed. I stay pretty calm cool and collected.

I think in the last blog post I sounded begrudging or fed-up with my daily routine. Yes, in some ways I am. There are things I would rather be doing. But,  I also find that I would not want to be a mother with 3 or more kids all going in opposite directions. A mother who puts herself last and then is completely exhausted at the end of the day. I would not want to be a women working up the corporate ladder, letting her day rush by with out ever taking a breather for herself. I wouldn't want to be any women who does not appreciate the person she is and is becoming. Part of appreciating yourself is giving yourself time to be, and just be.  My daily routine gives me that opportunity. I am much more relaxed throughout my day and much more in-tune to others because I have given myself time to just be.

I actually do know what that feels like to be completely exhausted and it is not fun nor a good feeling. I know what it feels like to put myself last, and in doing so I can't help anyone else. I know what it is like to not appreciate my talents and my body. When I get sick, my usual day at work makes me so tired I am ready for bed by 7:30. When I was putting others before myself on the job I neglected my needs.

 Now I realize in order to stay healthy I have to love myself as God loves me. I love me. I have a great life. I enjoy writing, sewing, reading, playing with my dogs, exercising, designing, planning events, speaking in front of an audience, listening to my students, helping my students succeed academically as well as socially. I love talking to God. I talk to Him about everything. I help with a prayer group. We pray for those who need healing. I'm learning to play the fiddle. I like taking drives to see the changes in the leaves and the scenery. I sit on my couch in the morning drinking coffee while I look outside my back windows and watch the sun come-up. It's not a house on the beach, but the view is just the same, God's creation. I am amazed everyday to see the colors God decorates my windows with every morning.

I have learned to say no. One of the hardest lessons I have ever learned. Time after time I would commit to projects I really didn't want to do. Each time I would feel the reluctancy creap in, taunting me, making me irritated at myself for committing to the activity. I finally said to myself, " If you don't really want to do whatever that thing is they want you to do, then don't do it."  I have found the things I do great and am really proud of, are the things I was passionate about. Now ,I say yes to the things I really really want to do. I like planning the Borgia Boutique, teaching myself to play the fiddle, exercising every morning, getting a massage every other week, praying with our prayer group, and I love my job.

So in conclusion, do what you love. Surround yourself with the people you love. Talk to God all the time and listen. Listen, listen, listen!